Four-month Well Visit

Yesterday was Harper's four-month checkup, and I can't believe four months have already passed since she was born. Well, in a way I can, because I'm getting to the point now where I really can't remember what life was like not to have her here with us, but I remember the day I had her so vividly (at least up to the point of my surgery!) that it hardly seems like that could have been four months ago.

Here are her stats:

Weight: 11 lbs. 9 oz.
Length: 23.125 ins.
Head circumference: 15.625 ins.

Jeff & I were surprised because we both expected her to weigh more than that (after all, she has recently earned the nickname "Harper the Hutt"—as in "Jabba the Hutt"—from some of our friends due to her rolls!), but she's following a normal growth pattern and everything, so she's on the right track. For a four-month-old baby, she is in the 6^th percentile for weight, the 7^th percentile for length, and the 9^th percentile for head circumference. However, if these numbers are plugged into her adjusted age—nine weeks, the age she's supposed to be and would be had she born at term—then she is in the 51^st percentile for weight, the 60^th percentile for length, and the 59^th percentile for head circumference. So basically she is right where she needs to be.

What else? Her umbilical hernia is almost fully healed. I don't know if I ever even mentioned that, but Harper had a very small umbilical hernia as a result of her prematurity. It's a very common thing for preemies; they are born with such a small amount of core muscle that part of their intestine protrudes through a "weak spot" in their abdominal wall (aka: their belly button). This causes their navel to slightly poke out whenever they strain (e.g., cry, poop, etc.). Basically, whenever she strains, Harper's belly button becomes an "outtie." We first noticed it in the NICU, and it was later diagnosed as an umbilical hernia. The good news is that it's getting better. The doctor can no longer feel the hernia, which means it has decreased in size, and he assured us that Harper will not need to have it surgically repaired. Dr. B thinks it will go away on its own within the next few months and told me not to worry, that she would eventually have a perfect "innie" bikini belly button.

The fact that he mentioned bikinis is hilarious, because it's been a hot topic of discussion since before Harper was even born. For some strange reason that I don't understand, Jeff has this issue with Harper wearing a bikini. It started about six weeks before my C-section, when I was shopping online for Harper's first swimsuit…

I showed Jeff this adorable giraffe-print bikini from Baby GAP and said, "Isn't this darling?"

His response was, "I don't think she needs a bikini."

Puzzled, I asked, "OK… But what's wrong with a bikini? What's your deal?"

"I just don't want her wearing one. No bikinis. She doesn't need to be running around with an exposed tummy."

"But she's a BABY!"

"OK, fine. She can wear a bikini before she turns one. But between one and eighteen, no bikinis."

A few weeks later, we had a bunch of our friends over and I brought up the bikini subject, thinking all of them would say that Jeff was completely overreacting. To my surprise, every single one of the guys agreed with Jeff. (All of the girls, however, sided with Mommy.) I actually ended up buying Harper a one-piece for this summer, but I guarantee next summer the bikini issue will come up again.

However, I will eventually win this one. And here's why:

(1) I honestly don't understand what is wrong with wearing a bikini. Americans have been wearing them since the '40s. I have pictures of my mom and her friends as eight-year-olds running through sprinklers in theirs.
(2) Since I will be picking out all of my daughter's clothes for AT LEAST the next decade, I think my husband can trust my decisions on this. Obviously I am not going to pick out a skanky-looking swimsuit for our precious, innocent little child.
(3) I don't want my daughter to grow up feeling ashamed of her body or how she looks.
(4) I'm not a fan of creating problems out of non-issues. To me, that is how you create much bigger problems. If Jeff makes this a big issue, it will bite us both in the you-know-what later when Harper is a teenager. If he acts like it's no big deal, Harper won't think it's a big deal either. My parents never forbid me from wearing a bikini—or anything, for that matter—and consequently, I never pushed the limits on that subject at all. I never owned a bathing suit that was too provocative or a skirt too short or a shirt too low-cut. It never would've even occurred to me to buy one. However, had my dad been all, "Young lady, one-pieces only until you go to college!" it probably would've been a different story.

Anyway, that's the bikini issue. Back to Harper's appointment…

I jokingly mentioned to my pediatrician that my husband had already decided to put his foot down when it comes to two-piece bathing suits: "Yeah, no bikinis until she's 18, he says."

Dr. B, who has two grown daughters of his own, continued examining Harper and laughed, "Is that right? Well—HA!—you tell your husband I wish him a whole hell of a lot of luck with that one. HA!"

I, of course, made sure to repeat Dr. B's comment to my dear husband later that day. He couldn't help but laugh.

Anyway, normally babies start eating rice cereal and stuff like that at about four months old, but because Harper is a preemie, Dr. B thinks we should wait until she has an adjusted age of four months old before we introduce her to any type of solid foods. I'm a little disappointed, because I think Jeff & I are both looking forward to feeding her something else besides bottles, and—I won't lie—because I've heard that babies do a MUCH better job of sleeping through the night once they get on rice cereal. But that's OK. September will be solids month!

And I really shouldn't be complaining at all, because after switching six times, we have FINALLY solved our formula crisis. Per an old high school Facebook friend's suggestion, we tried Good Start's Soy Plus formula last month, and we have been on it ever since. Harper is generally a good eater, although I've been concerned lately that she isn't eating enough. The rule of thumb is that you take your baby's current weight and divide it in half; whatever you get is the maximum number of ounces she should eat per feeding. In Harper's case, that means she should be eating about five-and-a-half ounces at each feeding, and her problem is one of inconsistency. She'll down a five-ounce bottle at one feeding and refuse to eat more than three-and-a-half ounces at the next one. I asked Dr. B about it, and he said that anything within two ounces of the maximum number of ounces she should eat is OK. So, as long as she eats at least three-and-a-half ounces of formula at each feeding, we're in the clear. She's been doing that—and sometimes much more—so I guess we're on the right track.

The best part is that Harper's gas is sooo much better; her tummy aches are practically gone; and her system eventually regulated itself so she doesn't have any more constipation issues. This is a huuuge relief to her parents, who were starting to worry themselves sick about her. She is also taking a small dose of a very mild antacid every day, so I'm sure this is helping with the digestion and tummy issues she had while on previous formulas.

Harper also had to have her four-month vaccinations, which was, of course, traumatic for us both. She did much better this time, though, and didn't cry nearly as much as she did as a two-month-old, so Mommy was incredibly proud of her. I also had the Infant Tylenol with me in my diaper bag this time and gave her a little bit in the waiting room, so that helped tremendously. After we got home, she slept almost the rest of the day. That's REALLY unusual for her, so I know she had to feel pretty crummy because of the shots. My poor baby.

She seems much better today, but I am trying to be extra careful when handling her. I remember how badly that DTaP shot hurt when I had to have it—as a 15-year-old, I couldn't even lift my left arm to shoot a basketball at practice—so the idea of bumping her or touching her little leg when she's sore makes me cringe. She seems back to her regular, inquisitive self, though. I'm so glad to see that she's feeling better, although I'm already dreading her six-month vaccinations. Then I know we'll have another round at nine months and again at a year! And those are just boosters… That's not counting our monthly dose of Synagis—a shot given to preemies to prevent them from catching RSV, a type of respiratory virus that can seriously affect babies with underdeveloped lungs, during the flu season—assuming we're approved. (One shot of Synagis costs $1,000, and babies need the shot on a monthly basis during flu season, so it can quickly add up. As a result, you have to be "approved" for Synagis, which means that your insurance company has to evaluate your baby's likelihood of contracting RSV based on a number of factors—the degree of his/her prematurity, whether he/she will be exposed to other children during the flu season, whether he/she will be in day care, etc. It's basically insurance companies' way of figuring out which will cost less: paying for your child to have the shot or paying for your child's hospital bill should he/she contract RSV. Harper hasn't been approved yet, but Dr. B seems to think it won't be a problem, given that she was born eight weeks premature. We will find out the verdict in September, so I'll keep you posted.)

She is waking up from her nice long nap, so I will have to finish writing about all that's gone on over the past few weeks next time. Until then…

ROP, Formulas, & Progress

I don't have a lot of time to update, because you-know-who is due to wake up hungry in about 30 minutes, but I'll give it a shot...

First things first, I have WONDERFUL news about Harper's eyes. Jeff & I took her to the retinologist as scheduled last Friday, and she received a fantastic diagnosis. The ROP is almost completely gone in her right eye, and although her left eye is still currently at stage two, it is a "better" stage two than it was a couple weeks ago. In fact, things are looking so good that the doctor said we really shouldn't worry, that the ROP in her left eye would most likely go away on its own, and that she definitely would not be a candidate for laser surgery (thank God!). An added bonus is that we no longer have to see the retinologist on a weekly basis; we don't have to return until mid-August, which, for now, seems a billion years away.

I'm absolutely ecstatic because--believe me--you do NOT want to watch a retinal exam performed on a newborn. It is unbelievably traumatic. First, Harper's eyes have to be dialated. I've never had this done, so I don't know what it feels like. I've heard that it doesn't hurt, really, but that it's no picnic either. Regardless, it is not enjoyable for anyone to have to pry an infant's eyes open, apply three rounds of drops, and wait around for roughly 45 minutes so that the drops have a chance to start working. But the worst is the actual exam. The doctor has to clip these little things on her eyelids to keep her eyes completely open, and although Harper's cry during the exam is more of a panicked, "what is she doing to me, Mom?!" yell than a true, "I'm in pain here!" scream a la her vaccinations, it is still unbelievably tough to take. And the fact that I have to hold her little arms down while they do this to her from the comfort of my lap is almost unbearable. I honestly don't know whether it's harder for Harper to physically endure the exam or for me to witness it. All I know is that I'm THRILLED we don't have to go back for another month.

We've been having a lot of issues trying to find the right formula for her, and our struggles continue. In the hospital, and during the first couple weeks at home, she was on Similac Neosure, a formula made specifically for preemies. However, babies aren't supposed to stay on it for very long past their original due date because of the ingredients (I guess it's higher in fat and calories to "bulk up" premature babies who are so small). Harper was also having a lot of gas pains on the Neosure, so our pediatrician recommended that we switch to Similac Alimentum, a hypoallergenic formula. The result? Projectile, Exorcist-style vomiting that Jeff & I both had the pleasure of experiencing first-hand on more than one occasion. Good times.

So we then switched to Similac Isomil Advance, an all soy-based formula. She seemed to love the taste of it and would drain her bottles at each feeding, but she continued to have horrible tummyaches (and audible, college frat boy-like gas!), so we switched again...to Nutramigen, Enfamil's version of hypoallergenic formula. Harper DETESTED it. Every time we tried to feed it to her, she would scrunch up her face as if to say, "Ewww, yuck!" and would ultimately eat only about half of her bottles. Sooo, as per a friend of mine's suggestion (and similar experience with her son), we're now trying Good Start Soy Plus. Thus far, Harper likes it--doesn't love it, but likes it--and isn't having nearly as much gas or as many tummyaches as before. She does seem like she's having more trouble pooping, though, as she did on the Similac Isomil Advance, so we need to give it some more time to see if it's going to work for us.

So, the formula debaucle continues. I feel so bad for Harper. I'm sure she doesn't understand why we keep changing her food, and Jeff & I are so frustrated by our inability to find the right solution for her. It makes me feel guilty that I didn't breastfeed her, even though that was far from a perfect solution for us. I couldn't even remotely keep up with her demand no matter how much I pumped, and to be honest, she seemed to have just as much gas on her tummy when she was on strictly breastmilk. Ugh!

The good news is that the pediatrician has nothing but good things to say about her. She is in wonderful shape, physically, and thus far, has hit all of her developmental markers. At her last doctor's visit (July 1st), she weighed 9 lbs. 13 oz. (almost 10 lbs.!) and measured 22 3/8 inches. She is such a tall girl! She is getting too long for most of her newborn outfits, but 3-months outfits literally hang off of her, so we're in one of those weird phases where finding the right clothes is a challenge. Carter's clothes seem to fit her the best, so we're extremely brand loyal right now!

Oh, and she is FINALLY sleeping longer than three hours at a time (thank God!). These days Harper is eating 4 to 4 1/2 oz. every four or five hours. Last night she went the longest she's ever gone between feedings--five and a half hours! I fed her at 11:45 P.M. and she woke me up to eat at 5:15 A.M. It was WONDERFUL to sleep so long, although I think I'm actually pretty used to getting up every three or so hours now. Last night I almost had the sensation that I'd slept through my alarm or something.

What else? Although she remains a carbon copy of her daddy when she's asleep, Harper is looking A LOT more like her mommy as of late. It's not so much that she resembles me now, but she looks identical to my baby pictures (aside from the blue eyes, of course!). I will try to scan a picture of myself as a three-month-old the next time I go over to my parents' house.

Sadly, Harper's gorgeous tresses are falling out--or, should I say, "rubbing off." She has rubbed a big bald spot on the very back of her head, and I keep finding little baby hairs all over her sheets. If she takes after her mother, she will be a bald Buddha baby by the time she is six months old!

In terms of personality, Harper remains a very serious, smart baby; she does, of course, smile when entertained, but she generally seems more interested in studying things than smiling without cause. (I caught her staring at her fist for about five minutes straight yesterday!) However, she absolutely loves for us to talk to her and intently listens whenever such conversations take place. She also continues to LOVE music, particularly from her lamb swing mobile, which she now stares at for 10 or so minutes at a time, and lately has shown genuine interest in her Bright Starts activity gym. She bats and coos at the hanging objects on her gym, particularly her favorite: a "flower" with purple petals and a yellow face that makes it look more like a sun than a flower. Fans are her favorite household objects; we catch her watching them spin often when she's awake.

Other likes include her daddy (she is a real Daddy's Girl who loves snuggling up on Jeff's chest), taking baths with Mommy (I decided this was MUCH easier than bathing her in an infant tub!), and being held "sack of potatoes-style" (e.g., backwards over my shoulder). Major milestones in her third month include grabbing our noses, glasses, etc. when we hold her up close to our faces, kicking and using her legs to push off of my hands when I support her, looking us in the eyes when we speak to her, rolling over unassisted for the first time, cooing and squeaking--particularly in response to us or objects around her, opening her mouth as if to "give kisses" when I kiss her on the lips, staring at the moving lambs and stars on her lamb swing mobile, and attempting to "bat" hanging objects on her activity gym with her hand.

Jeff & I have given her about 1,000 different nicknames, including "Harpster," "Harperoni" (shortened to "Roni" on many occasions), "Harperton," "Harpsichord," "Harpsie Lou," "Harpunzle," "Mrs.," and "Cooberry." She probably won't know her own name by the time she's ready to start talking! (I'm kidding. We call her by her name a lot, too.)

Unbelievably,you-know-who is still asleep! I am going to try to get some thank-you notes written before she wakes up. Wish me luck! :-)

Harper's Belated "Welcome Home!" Shower

I started to write this entry last week but never got around to actually posting it, so sorry for the delay!

We had our "Welcome Home, Harper!" shower here at our house on June 28th, and it was so much fun. The hostesses completely outdid themselves; they brought in pounds of chicken and beef fajitas, Mexican rice, refried beans, and queso from Alamo Cafe (sooo good!), the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I think I've ever seen, a homemade trifle, a darling pink "Welcome Harper" cake with baby booties on it, and an absolutely exquisite diaper cake, care of the amazing talents of my best friend! Harper got the chance to meet"Aunt Jody," "Uncle Rick," "Aunt Erin," "Uncle David," & "Uncle Kris & Aunt Carrie" (who is pregnant with Harper's soon-to-be boyfriend, Josh) for the first time, and Jeff & I had a blast laughing, eating, and drinking wine with our friends. We don't see them nearly as much as we used to, so it was especially cool to hang out with so many of them together in one place.

Jody created a "word scramble" of all of Harper's favorite things, and I am sorry to say that my jumble skills are obviously not what they once were! (Sadly, I missed my own last name! I couldn't figure out that "nsoerHdne" was "Henderson"! A little pathetic!) Everyone had so much fun trying to figure out all of the answers. A few of us got pretty close, but no one could manage to beat Rick, who ultimately won the grand prize: a free massage at Spa d'Sante. After the word scramble, Jeff & I read aloud each guest's wish and/or words of advice for us as new parents. Some of the things people wrote were hysterical, such as my brother's words of wisdom: "Give her what she needs, not what she wants." Good advice, maybe, but a little ironic coming from my brother, who pretty much exclusively wears Burberry and Lacoste, drives a Porsche Boxster, and spends most of his time on the links at various San Antonio country clubs. (Incidentally, Carson is a very good kid: mannerly, thoughtful, and easy to get along with, with a very big heart. He doesn't act spoiled or bratty in the least. Still, he has exceptional, expensive taste and a self-admitted desire to live the "good life," so I couldn't help but chuckle when I read his bit of advice.)

Anyway, after reading everyone's wishes and words of wisdom, Jeff & I opened Harper's presents. Wow, she got some absolutely amazing gifts: her high chair, an extra car seat base (sooo nice to have an extra one to put in Jeff's car!), a car seat grabber, padded car seat strap covers, double head support pillows, a darling wicker laundry hamper, crib sheets, bassinet sheets, changing pad covers, a musical monkey toy, her first stationery, a $50 gift card to Target (which Mommy has already spent on a little closet organizer and an adorable mushroom baby pool that I doubt we'll be able to use until next year), and six or seven adorable outfits. I have no idea when I'll be able to write so many thank-you notes, but I will get them all done...eventually.

In the meantime, I hope my darling friends know how very grateful I am to them for putting together such a spectacular shower. I had such a wonderful time and can't thank them enough for everything. Harper will hear about her "Welcome Home" shower for many years to come!