Thoughts of a First-time Mother On Baby's First Night Home

She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.... Will I ever sleep again?... I can't believe she sucked down that bottle so fast!... BURP, HARPER, BURP! PLLLEEEAAASSSE!... Is she wet? Dirty? I need to check, but I don't want to wake her up.... Hahaha. She looks just like Jeff when she's asleep.... Note to self: Call the pediatrician tomorrow to schedule an appointment for later this week.... Why is your diaper leaking, Harps? We put it on right, didn't we?!... New diaper. New gown. New receiving blanket. Good to go.... This is sooo fun!... What's the matter, Harperoni? You're not wet, you're not dirty, you're not hungry. What else could be wrong?... Go back to sleep, Bitterman.... Should I try to get her to eat more, or is she good?... God, please let me be good at this. I want so badly to be good at this.... I have a husband, a house, and a child. I think I am officially an adult now.... EXPLOSIVE DIAPER ALERT!... Jeez! How could something so tiny create this much poop?!... Look at her stretch out those arms and legs! Wow!... OK, Harper, let's not wake up Daddy.... Dude, tomorrow Daddy will go to work and we'll be on our own. Oh, God, I'm a little scared!... Oh, Harper, please go back to sleep. We were up an hour ago!... Did I shake up the formula? It's 4:00 A.M. I can't remember.... Hi, Harper, I'm your mom--as surreal as that is.... How could you have been the one kicking me all those months?!... I wonder what she's thinking right now.... C'mon, Harper, wake up. Let's finish our bottle.... And there goes half the bottle...on my shirt. Awesome.... Clearly I'm going to be doing at least one load of baby laundry per day.... Is she warm enough? Cool enough?... Wow. No one is ever coming to get her, huh?... Isn't she beautiful? Everything about her is so perfect.... I'm a mommy. Unbelievable.... SERIOUSLY, WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN?!... This is only a window of time.... I love you so much, Harper. So, so much.